Rant.

I've been meaning to update, but life has been kind of crazy around here. Not really positive and happy. Avery is draining me daily. She is a handful, to say the least. I hope it's a stage, or better yet, that Rowan isn't so dramatic because I might lose my mind.

I took Avery to her first kindergym class this week. It's an hour every Wednesday morning, and we went this week just the two of us. She's very shy around other toddlers, but once she saw the other kids running around, she let loose, and played on everything but the trampoline. The gym is set up with matts everywhere, balance beams, the works, just kid friendly. I didn't bring my camera, but will try to remember next week. I didn't want to be that mom taking pictures the first 5 minutes into the first class. At the end of the hour, everyone cleans up, and sits in a circle to wind down and sing a song, well Avery didn't want to stop, and she basically tantrumed until I had to carry her out to the car. I could feel every other parent watching, and I don't love that.

I have a really hard time talking on the phone these days, unless it's nap time, but I have a lot to do in that gap, I sometimes just like the time to myself. They only sleep at the same time for about 1/2 hour, if I'm lucky, so I try to get my computer time in then. Avery acts up when I'm on the phone, and I'm left wondering what other moms do; do they just give up on trying to fit a conversation in ever?

Any attention whether bad or good will suffice for Avery, if that is all I can give. Avery will climb into the windows, up on the counters, behind the t.v., on top of the table, basically anything she can to get my attention, and then she ends up in time outs. She sits in her high chair, in the corner, and I turn the stove timer onto 2 minutes. After the beep, I take her out, but it takes about 5 minutes to calm her down again, for her to turn around and do the exact same things!

This all happens while Rowan is experiencing her mega teeth on the top. Her two front teeth have cut this week, but I can see the two beside them coming, and it looks like the eye teeth might even come down, too. She's pulling herself to stand all the time, and falling a lot. Poor baby, she doesn't know how to get back down. I wake up every hour to nurse at night, and it seems to be the only thing to get her back down. This is leaving me unrested and pretty tired in the day. You know, I have not slept one night through in over 2.5 years now. I quit drinking coffee when I was pregnant with Avery, but I have been sneaking a half mug in the morning, just to keep me from falling asleep after breakfast.

I should also mention that Avery hates Rowan lately. Rowan is curious about the toys Avery is playing with, and Avery doesn't grasp the concept of sharing, so baby comes near, Avery screams, and throws the toys at baby. I try to put Rowan in her playpen, to get tasks done, and she wants out, as she sees Avery playing on the floor. I think the only thing that keeps them both happy is if I sit on the floor between them, and try to keep them playing with things seperately, yet side by side.

Try cooking a meal with all of this going on. I start tasks at about 3 in the afternoon, just to have it done on time. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy cooking meals, but pulling the monster in and out of time outs, and a screaming baby wears my nerves. I'm pretty snappy by the end of the day, out of exhaustion, and then when we sit down to eat, Avery throws everything all over the floor. She hates everything it seems, and I really don't know what to do about her eating. I mean if she doesn't eat dinner, she wakes up in the night hungry. I can't cater to her and make different things for everyone eating. What do other moms do?

I guess being a mom of two is challenging for everyone, but I don't think I could handle a third baby. I now know I do not want any more. I thought, "Oh maybe one day," but really. I think I would get post partum depression, and never come out of it. If for some reason I forget all of this, it would be after they're out of diapers, I hope. I think getting a dog at that time would be nice for everyone. Pets are just like kids; you have to potty train them, too.

I wish I could have written a happy blog entry, but the truth is I'm only human, and being alone with the girls day in and day out, isn't always a walk in the park.

Fishy Fesh

I can't believe it's 2010 already. Seriously, where have the last 10 years gone? And my grad reunion next year? Wow. At this rate, it'll be 2020 before we know it.

Well we decided to use our Christmas money on a fish tank. I had a pretty big one when I lived in AB, so I'm pretty experienced with the care for fish. I thought it'd be good to get something unusual, and we could all enjoy. We bought a 55 gallon tank second hand from someone on Craig's list, for $350, and it included everything. Brand new the tank, stand, and supplies alone would cost almost $1000, so it was a really great deal.

The tank all set up. Click on picture for bigger view.

Steve went to pick the tank up on new year's day, and we set it up together when he got home, a couple hours later. Avery was "helping" too, saying, "Oooo, oooo," and taking fish statues out of the boxes, and mixing everything up. She loves the tank, and saying fish, which sounds more like, "fesh."

The tank came with some monster sized fish, an oscar that was bigger than Steve's shoe, like 14" long and scary big, two chiclids about 7" long, and an algae eater that we kept, who's about 14" long. Ew! I know it sounds weird, but if they were ours from little fish that got that big, then we'd be used to them, and not mind the huge scary yucky fish, but they freaked me out. We thought it'd be part of the fun experience to bring Avery to the fish store, and pick out new fish. The store took our old fish, too. So it all worked out for the monster steroid fish.

Here's the monster oscar fish.

Avery didn't last long in the pet store, and buying 5 different little schools of fish took longer then we thought it would. I wore Rowan, and Steve and I took turns walking Avery around to look at the different birds, rabbits, cats, etc. while the staff were filling bags of water and fish. Lesson learned, Avery just has a short span of patience, and because we missed a snack time, it was complete melt down, screaming tantrum in the car. We drove top speed to Steve's dad's house, where we were able to feed Avery some lunch, and get both girl's bums changed before driving home, and them falling asleep for nap time.

The only thing missing from the tank is the lid with light. You'll see in the picture Steve has a bulb balancing over top. I know the danger. The chords are safely tucked away, and it should be ok. The pet store has one ordered for us.

I'm not sure who loves the fish more.

Christmas '09

Yeah, I realise it's a few days later than, but Merry Christmas anyway! And what a good one we had. Little family of four. Avery was into opening presents this year, and Rowan, well, she liked the paper. This was the first Christmas I've actually felt really excited about in a long time. I think knowing Avery would get it this time made the anticipation feel magical, like when I was a kid. Of course she doesn't get the whole Santa thing.

We woke up that morning at about 6, and ate breakfast. Once Daddy had drank his coffee, he stayed up late the night before wrapping, we got down to present business. I figured there was no sense in waiting, and trying to keep them out from under the tree. Steve turned the t.v. onto the burning log channel, and we went ahead trying to open one gift at a time, so we were paying attention to each other. It was kind of chaotic at first, but it went really fast. Rowan got a Raggedy Ann doll from grandad, and Avery got jealous, and stopped Christmas then and there. Once she'd taken Rowan's doll, and played with it for 10 minutes, we resumed baby present time. In that break, Steve and I were able to focus on each other a bit.

After we cleaned up the mess, the girls were pretty busy on the floor, I called my mom and grandparents, then I made my bacon skillet breaky. The girls got books and clothes. I bought them the table and chair set earlier this month, and I donated a huge garbage bag full of baby toys to the Santa toy drive. I mean, they only need so many toys, and as they get older maybe Santa will bring them more. How many rattles does a baby need? Besides, Avery's outgrown that stuff, and seriously reads books all day long, so I like that their one toy box is only half full of toys. An uncluttered and clean home makes me happy, and I'm trying to battle the mess, one day at a time...

After lunch the whole family had a nap. That was really nice. Wood stove roaring, and cuddling under a duvet is pretty ultimate. After nap, we all got packed up, and headed into town, to have dinner at Steve's dad's house. It was really awesome not cooking. Steve's step sister, husband, and son, Lucas were there, as well as Steve's younger brother, Dustin. We had another gift exchange, and all visited until dinner. We forgot to bring the girl's chairs, so I didn't really get to sit at all through dinner. Avery was busy taking off all of the tree ornaments, while Row just tried putting everything in her mouth. Oh well, the little things moms do, I guess.

After dinner, I helped clean up until Rowan started to totally melt down. We stayed for dessert, which I made. It was a peanut butter pudding pie. It was pretty good, easy to make, though a little rich. I'm pretty critical of my own baking/ cooking, however. I warmed up some goat milk for Avery, Steve packed the car, and we made our way home. I'd like to mention what a great dad he is, Rowan cried being in the car, being in the dark, and not with me, so he crammed himself in between their car seats, and held her face and hands while she fell asleep. What a sweet guy, he's always thoughtful like that.

So Christmas was great, and I hope to be at my parents next year. They're supposed to be moving home next summer, and I can't wait! It's so special having little ones, it really brought back the festive feeling, more so then when it was just Steve and I.

We were all helping with each other's presents.

Rowan was in an awesome mood.

Santa brought Avery a new "baby colours" book. She destroyed her first one, and really loves it. Once she opened this gift, she didn't put it down.

Avery's shirt from Grandad. We think it suits Rowan more, ha ha. (Click on picture to see it bigger.)

Avery squatting to open her gift. Only a toddler or yogi would sit this way. ;)

Knee Stands

Look what Rowan can do now. She actually pulled herself to stand yesterday, with a major fall on the head right as soon as she was on her feet. She has been found in different little spots sitting on her knees like this since then. It's funny how after babies start moving, the milestones just run together so quickly from then on out.

Avery also surprises us with a new word daily. Saturday morning she said her first two word sentence, "Hi Daddy."

I have to get Steve to upload his camera with all of the good xmas pics, so until then I'm waiting to write about Christmas. Should be in the next few days. Ok, bye.

Hustle 'n' Bustle

December certainly has flown by! I can't believe Christmas is only a couple days away. Anyhow, Rowan has met a couple of milestones, I've yet to mention. She cut her first two teeth at 7.5 months, one right after the other, just like Avery's came in. She can sit unsupported, 7.5 months, and she started crawling just before 7 months.

Rowan sitting up in her ridiculously cute and tacky, yet too small Xmas jumper.

Avery is unimpressed with an active baby. I used to just have my cuddle bug baby demanding my attention, but now that she's in Avery's toys, it is war. Basically any time Rowan touches one, Avery screams and rips it away. We're trying to gently explain sharing to her, and reminding her that Rowan loves her, and is curious, too. Avery is really good, however, about selecting and giving certain toys to Rowan to play with, which of course is rewarded with plenty of praise. Avery's books are the one thing she does not want Rowan to touch.

Avery now wants to be picked up like a baby pretty much all the time. She clings her legs and arms around me like a monkey, and she's actually really hard to get off. If I'm on the phone she screams and pulls at me, or if there's any other kids around. It's a little draining. If I'm trying to get something done especially. The screaming is where I'm not really sure what to do. I mean, Rowan baby squeals, so should Avery get in trouble when the baby's doing it constantly? I really don't know...

Self portrait with the monkey cling on.

In festive preparation, I spent about 7.5 hours baking on Saturday. The only breaks I took were obvious baby's demands, and to sit for dinner. (I made that, too.) Steve was outside working on the gate while Avery napped. She sleeps from 12:30 - 3 pm every day. I get a lot done in that time, or some days catch up on sleep, too. It depends on Rowan's needs that day, I mean, they do sleep at different times, and wearing the little pork chop for her nap, and cooking is getting harder; she's so heavy!

Back to Saturday, I baked short bread cookies, molasses cookies, and sugar cookies, which I iced and decorated myself. I made enough for 5 little tins, which were gifts to: Steve's dad, our neighbours, Pants and JB, Lisa's family, and my friends, Jenna and Andrew. I kept some leftovers, of course, but I keep getting into them. They're really quite impressive. My husband said they look like they're from a bakery. Now I wouldn't go that far, my piping job was messy, but his compliment has inspired me to bake more. Kidding! I want to gobble them down!!!!

Click on photo to see the beauty better. I forgot to take any close ups of individual cookies.

I had bought a turkey, so it's in the freezer, but we're now going to Steve's dad's for dinner on Christmas day. I'm looking forward to not cooking, and the girls will have a chance to wear their little red dresses again. We'll do the morning here at home, then go to town after nap. I will be the designated driver, like always, but I have no problem with it because I get to go out on boxing day night with my best girlfriends!!

I won't lie, I've been anticipating this for months. I'm going to stay at my best friend, Stacey's house, and her dad will even cook us breakfast the next morning. I have been saving my milk, in the freezer, any chance I could because I will not come home until I have rested enough, and am sober enough to drive. Steve and Rowan are becoming more in love as she gets older, and she's finally starting to soothe with him; although, night might be a little hard. They'll be fine.

Well that's a pretty big update. Merry Christmas, everyone!

These are the handmade ugly dolls my BFF, Stacey, made for each girl. On the backs, it has an A and R for their own stuffy. Such an awesome gift! Avery's been using hers like a pillow, and Rowan really likes playing with hers so far.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Christmas Tree

It's December, and what a busy time it's been! I splurged on two pairs of polar fleece p.j.s for Avery, and they're keeping her very warm at night because she kicks her covers off. This picture is her waiting for me in the morning, while I change Rowan's toosh. Avery thought it was rather hilarious to read aloud in the laundry basket. (Daddy got the shot)

We've had our Christmas tree set up since last week, and I'm having a harder time keeping Rowan out of it then Avery. Avery thought it'd be helpful to push Rowan over, and say, "Out out," to her. Poor baby. Avery was happy with the results of the push, it seems, and has continued to do it all day.

I love having decorations up, it makes our home feel so festive. I have bought almost everything to start some Christmas baking. My new obsession is allrecipes.com, where I've been looking at different recipes for ideas. I feel like I'm turning into such a domestic geek. I'm actually so happy. In a Martha momma kind of way.

We celebrated my birthday this weekend. We took the girls out for brunch, and met up with my brother Sebastien, Cathy, and nephew, Piper. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera, and Seb's battery died in his. It would have been a good cousins picture opportunity. My pesto benny was delicious, as usual. I had to leave as soon as we were done eating because Avery had enough of sitting in a high chair. We stayed home after, I baked an angel food cake, and we had an easy dinner of b.l.t.s and salad. The box cake was great, after I spent 3 hours in the kitchen, attempting the cake from scratch. It was a messy disaster!

So here's a couple pics of the tree going up. Avery was very helpful, she liked passing the bulb to me, and pointing where she wanted it to go, to then take it off, and put it back in the box. She got it finally, and has been pretty good about staying out of the tree.

Daddy and his girls.

Rowan's super model pose. She prefers this to sitting up.

Avery about to get mad that Rowan is getting closer to the tree.

Looking for more bulbs.