Avery's 2!

Well the monster celebrated her second birthday yesterday. Talk about amazing. I simply can't believe that two years have gone by. We took a couple books out from the library last month that talked about birthdays, cakes, and presents to get her familiar with the idea of it. She was saying birthday cake all afternoon, once she'd seen the cake I baked during her nap.

We started the morning with our usual breakfast, and decided to give her our gift in the morning, as opening a present before bed may be way too disruptive. Avery played with her new little tea set all day long, playing "tea party" with Momma. She was not into sharing it with Rowan, who was pretty curious, only to be smashed in the face with one of the pieces. Poor baby, she just loves her big sister, but annoys the monster.

Our first half of the day was spent inside, just playing and taking a break from anything else really, just me and the girls. Some days I just need to not answer the phone, and fully focus on being with them. Avery acts out tons when I'm on the phone, and so I haven't even really bothered with it anymore. Kind of like a man, keep it simple and to the point. Lol. We spent the time between nap and dinner out in the yard, feeding the animals and roaming the yard.

During nap, I baked a gluten free cake mix, bought from Thrifty's. It was only a couple dollars more, and very delicious. I searched online for a nice dairy/ gluten free icing, and ended up making one out of crisco. Hindsight, that sounds totally disgusting, and turned out like something I may have tasted in the past, but kind of weird. Maybe it's a mental thing, but I think you get the picture. Anyhow, the icing was a good texture, and does taste good, and I'm glad I got to test the recipe before I have another gluten free cake to make for their birthday party next month, and Rowan's big one year birthday, next month as well.



Both girls had small pieces of cake after dinner, and stayed up about an hour past bedtime, full of sugar bugs. They were totally mental. We ran around the house for close to an hour before I even attempted giving them both a bath. After our regular calming lavender oil bath, we all went into the girls room, got dressed in jammies after a nice lotion massage, and really took about half an hour of wind down, quiet time. We spend the last stretch before bed time in their room every night, as both girls really thrive with a regular routine. Avery had no problem going down to bed, maybe she had her sugar crash, but it was nice not having to put her back into bed 50 times.


So to my Avery, Happy 2nd Birthday! I love every little piece of you!!!

PMS

On Friday, we walked to our newly regular play group. I've taken the girls weekly for roughly 6 weeks now. At this particular session, we started inside playing with all the toys, followed by snack. I do bring something of my own for Avery in case of cross contamination, and so she has something to eat, too. After snack, we took the kids through the trail in the woods, behind the community centre. The two British ladies, who run the play group, had turned the trail into an Easter egg hunt. It was so fun for all of the kids, and Avery absolutely loved it!


Besides that, I went over to my BFF's house yesterday, who is also a hair stylist, and made the chop. I've got bangs again. Yes, I know I always cut and grow them out, but I have been losing so much hair, and I have a layer of fuzzy regrowth in the front, with a ton of greys, and I just couldn't stand the poofy ugly frizz head. The pieces are too small for a flat iron, and I felt like a major dork with such a frazzled looking hair line. She also died the once blonde panel to a punky purple, which bled like crazy in the shower tonight. I forgot how much those fun colors bleed because I haven't died my hair with them in years now. Lucky for me, I have virtually no time to myself, so if I can't get to wash my hair as often as I'd like, maybe it will last. Not that greasy Mom ponytails are the new sexy look.

Well I have to mention that I've got the monthly visitor back, and it sucks the big one. I can't remember being so hormonal ever before the girls, and I've actually been the most grouchy to them, too. The cramps are significantly worse, so all around this bites. Now, Avery has been acting really awful again, and I typically keep my composure, while helping her to remember to use her words and such. I have no patience for the tantrums at all, and find myself yelling at her. Understand how awful it is when you turn your back for a millisecond, and she pushes Rowan over on purpose, and smiles. I am aware of my behaviour, too, and at least I can work on controlling it.

And so, I re-read a bunch of articles about Celiac again, and I have a NO list beside the fridge, and have a general memorisation of what she must not eat. I learned; however, that maybe it's worse than we think. Maybe she can't have any cross contamination. I mean, she has no way to tell us other than behaviour that something is not right. It's not that I was totally ignorant to the idea, I just thought as long as the food was gluten free, but didn't really think of other simple tasks involved in food preparation, such as a separate toaster, cutting board, mixing spoons and cups. Maybe it really is that bad of an intolerance to her, and we just don't know. It's not like I've ever had to make such a drastic change before, and commit to it.

Poor Avery has been like she was before, not as bad, but still. She won't eat by dinner time, and won't eat her regular favourites. This is annoying because she already is limited on selection, and she doesn't like things mixed together, just plain and side by side. She likes a little dip, and I was giving her ketchup, but apparently the vinegars in it could have gluten. The ketchup has only been used for the last couple of weeks, so I actually am thinking that this is the culprit. The crappy thing is, she knows the association with whatever her pain is to the ketchup, so she now refuses all the things she was dipping in there. Avery lives off of black beans, brown rice, avocado, strawberries (yes they were dipped, gross, but who cares is they're being eaten), and chicken.

I haven't found it that hard to make all of our dinners gluten free, and because we eat a big brunch daily with eggs, our lunches are usually light, ie: veggies and dip, with cold cut meat and crackers. The problem is now getting her to eat the food she's tainted by because of the ketchup. Without warning, she'll throw the whole plate on the floor, all because she couldn't get the piece of toast on her fork, or some such nonsense. As a mom of two, cooking anything is a challenge, one wants the boob 24/9, and the other is doing every bad behaviour she can for attention, so that task takes forever. All to turn around and have the whole dish just tossed, plus then I know she's hungry, and I don't want to get up and make something else, when I just sat down to eat. These are the times I've ended up yelling at her. The situation makes me so mad. It has been happening all freaking week.

I should mention, but haven't that my best friend's sister passed away last Friday night, technically last Saturday morning, in a horrific and tragic car accident. Candice has left two young sons behind, and is greatly missed. I've been hit pretty hard by the news, besides my Grampa dying around the time of Rowan's birth, I didn't really know him, and I loved Candi like my own sister growing up. Her son called my aunty, she was there for me, and with me more than my own sister at times. All I can say about it via blog, without totally crying again, is I don't understand why people are taken abruptly from our lives. We love them so much, and now she is gone, and I have no explanation. Sure it is great for religious people to have faith in something, and I'm very open minded, but I just can't put my whole heart into believing one thing over the other. I will be attending her services in the next week, once the dates have been set.

Phew. Big breath. That was hard to write about in a detached way. I know that these times in my life will be hard, I knew it when I was pregnant the second time, and I do truly feel bad that being so busy with the girls has created distance with some of my other friends, but I am committed to being a mom first.

Lastly, Tuesday is the big 2 for Miss Avery. I'll be baking a little cake for her, and something she will hopefully eat for dinner, ugh, and just having a nice little family time. We are having a bigger party for them both mid April, in town, which will be nice and central for all of our family.

Until next time...

Challenging Days

The stages the girls are currently in are nothing short of challenging. I find myself a little more snappy by the end of the day, and a little more snappy to the family. I do know that after we get past this stretch of their developments, it will get easier, and I actually can't believe that Rowan's first year has just about gone by. I hope that her second brings as much fun as Avery's did to our lives.

As of now, Rowan is teething. She's getting one on the top and the bottom it looks like, and she is pretty sad about it. She wants to nurse every 1/2 hour, and with her extreme separation anxiety, she just screams if I'm out of her sight for more than a second. I'm actually starting to secretly hate nursing, and feel ashamed about it. I keep breaking the latch early, especially in the night. It will have been 3 years without sleeping through the night in July, and I guess because of the teething, I feel annoyed not getting any sleep at night. She will not take a bottle at all. When I was at Chelsea's birth, she didn't take it once, and I've been trying to give her one every afternoon for the last couple weeks. Seriously, how do you wean in this situation? How do moms deal with this, who have to go back to work?

Rowan is also in her pre-toddler stage full force. She wants to roll, and creep on everything. She hates being held, or to sit in the stroller, which totally sucks because we put her in it when we're trying to get something done in the yard. I do know that when she starts walking it'll be two toddlers taking off in different directions. It seems easier to stay inside, but we have to get out, Avery and I get cabin fever like crazy. Anyway, this stage for her, and being one of two is pretty busy!

Bed time is not like on the movies, where the mom reads books while the two kids sit on her lap. It's Avery on my lap, kicking at Rowan, who screams and cries at my feet. Then I put Avery down, who turns and gets out of bed, and Rowan throws herself onto the floor, in an all out baby tantrum. She even does the "Arch and Slide" when I try to sit her in something like her car seat or high chair. She is so lovable, yet so draining because she is very clingy, and gets really mad when she doesn't get her way. Taurus.

Avery is in her terrible twos as they say. I know the critics don't like to use the term anymore, but really. I am fully aware that when she has my undivided attention, she doesn't do the behaviours, but it's impossible when there's two. Her tantrums are totally normal for her age, too. She is really really mean to our cat, though, and I'm talking mean. She throws anything she can at him, grabs random spots on his body and pulls him around, pushes him off the couch or counters, hits him, it goes on. Now he really ought to avoid her, but he's 7 years old and likes to be social. I've been locking him up in my bedroom, or holding him, and letting her pet him while so. It seems to help. She really goes for him when I'm cooking, or doing something that I can't fully focus on her.

The throwing doesn't stop with Capone. She throws things at Rowan, and all over the place. I ignore it when it's her drink in her high chair, and that works, but it doesn't work when I'm busy, and she's chucking stuff all over the place. I've been trying the mono toned voice saying, "Toys are not for throwing," and getting her involved with another project. I guess maybe it's all you can do. I find completing a task that used to take me 15 minutes, before babies, can now take up to 2 hours! Like when Steve comes in, has a shower with nobody crying for him to get out, and sits down to a cooked dinner, I'm pretty snappy. I imagine saying, "You're going to eat it, and you better like it."

By the end of the day, I find myself pretty worn out, but like I said, I know it will get easier. Rowan will start walking, and yes it'll probably get more challenging before so, but time goes too quickly, and then they'll both be out of diapers, and hopefully using words, and such. Then maybe we'll get a puppy, but as for now, I do not see myself having a third baby.

Sleep Strategies

Just a quick post, I have a pot roast in the fridge to start prepping this nap. I wanted to write about the new strategy we're using with Avery. She loves her bed, but continues to get out, over and over again.

It actually seems so simple when you think about it, but when it's your own kid, sometimes you don't look at things with an outside perspective. So now Avery's routine is as follows, bath with Rowan, teeth are brushed while in the bathroom, go into the bedroom, where we stay straight until bed time. Totally quiet time, wind down in the room. I get both girls dressed, then we read 2 books, and into bed. Here's the new strategic move, either Steve or I stand outside of her door, depending on Rowan's needs at the time, and wait for the monster to get out of her bed. As soon as she does, we go in, and calmly say, "bed time," and no other words, and put her back in her bed. Today will be day 3, and we are using this strategy for naps, too. She only got out of her bed once at nap time today, hallelujah!!!! She must realise she doesn't get any attention for it.

It's really important to show no emotion either because to a 2 year old, it doesn't matter if the attention is good or bad, just that they're getting a reaction. It's been great to feel like I'm in charge of her sleep schedule again. A whole month without naps was making me totally mental by the end of the day. I was so exhausted and snappy because I never had a break through the whole day, and then Avery would screw around at bedtime, so I didn't even enjoy my evenings.

Anyway, here's some photos of our little hobby farm. Avery loves the pig and duckies:

Walking down the stairs, all by herself.

She leads the way down to the animals.

The ducks by the pond.

The pig made herself a bed.

80 lbs.

The little duckies are still stand offish.

Chelsea and Archer's Birth Journey

So it finally happened, after a long 8 days of being overdue, she went into labour. Chelsea's actual due date was last Tuesday, and baby Archer was born on Thursday, March 11, at 9:08 am. The night was super stormy, and the mountain got a fresh 38 cm of snow. It reminded me of a scene out of the movies, when babies are typically born on stormy nights.

I got to Chelsea's house at around 8:00 pm, and after her son, Liam, left to go with his aunt overnight, we stayed while Chels laboured until just after 11:30 pm. Her contractions were pretty strong, and building in intensity. Her husband, Spencer, Chelsea, and I all hung out in the living room mostly, until after a few hours and communicating with her midwife over the phone, she decided it was time to go to the hospital.

Like I mentioned, the weather was insane. Just putting change in the parking meter left Spencer and I soaking wet to the bone, and frustrated because the machine wasn't accepting some of the change. It was a covered booth, but the sideways blowing rain was too much for that. After we had our parking passes, Spencer drove Chelsea to the emergency room doors, where I had a wheel chair waiting to bring her upstairs. They have the other side of the hospital locked up at night, so we had to go in through the emergency entrance.

Once we were upstairs, Chelsea's midwife, Deborah was there to meet us. She's the same one who delivered both of my girls, so it was nice to see her again, and from the outside perspective. Chelsea got into the little room we would be using, while I put the wheel chair away, and then Spencer and I unpacked all of our stuff into the corner, on the floor because it was a pretty small space. There was one big reclining couch in the room, and Deborah brought in an extra stool that had wheels, so Spencer and I traded seats every once in a while.

When we got to the hospital, Chelsea was at 5 cm, and in active labour. So the next few hours were spent with Chelsea working through her contractions, and plenty of guided breathing. I used a lot of deep breathing techniques I've learned from yoga practice. I liked using breath that was loud in and out of my nose, and nice to follow. Chelsea also liked blowing through her lips loosely while exhaling, which I think kept her focused and relaxed as she let go through each contraction. During active labour, Chelsea kept her composure beautifully.

After a few hours, somewhere close to 3 am, Chelsea had dilated to about 7ish cm, and seemed to be plateauing, so Deborah was able to work with her cervix, by pushing the lip in while Chelsea pushed her baby past. Unfortunately, the lip kept falling back down. Now, I've got to give my friend some major props here because I had this same procedure done in both of my labours, and it was extremely hard to work through, and it took the first time in both of mine, but she handled her way through it plenty.

Deborah had Spencer take Chelsea into the shower, and she laboured in there about half an hour. I helped get a bunch of supplies ready for Chelsea like ice chips, fresh water, and a big bowl of ice water for cold cloths during pushing. That gap of time seemed to go by pretty fast, and I'm not sure I even sat down for very long then. Deborah had wanted to get a nap in, and had asked the nurses if they could take over for a while, but they were too busy with the other women in labour. Chelsea came back to the room, and danced around with her contractions before returning to the bed to labour.

I made sure Chelsea was drinking tons of diluted juice and water between her contractions, but like everyone in the room, her uterus was getting tired. So her contractions were starting to fizzle. At this time, everyone was starting to have little naps in between, except for me because I had been drinking black tea all night, and since I barely ever drink caffeinated drinks, I was flying. Eventually Spencer and I traded, so I was lying on the couch, and I gave into an exhausted 30minute nap. I did wake up for every contraction, and it was more of a state somewhere between consciousness and sleep. Chelsea was saying some pretty funny things then, too. She would fall asleep for about 20 seconds at a time, and shot up saying, "Oh, sorry for falling asleep there, I was just having a dream about my friend and her husband, and they were writing a cook book." Another time she jolted up out of sleep, and asked, "Did something just shake the room?" She'd moved the bed by waking up.

The midwife tried pushing in the lip on her cervix a few more times, and then Chelsea would really work through contractions, and it took quite a while for the last bit of progress. The last stage of labour moved on the slower side. We were so tired. Around this time, the energy started shifting in the room, like Deborah wasn't there completely. She had said she'd been up at a birth the previous night, but it just seemed like she was losing faith in Chelsea's try for a VBAC. She told her that if she didn't start showing some progress, then she would have to the call the obstetrician because like all VBACs here, they closely monitor labour, and don't let it tilt too far from the path of regular text book labour. Chelsea had to wear these two annoying belts around her belly that recorded and monitored every contraction, as well as the baby's heart beat. I started asking questions like isn't it normal for a woman to get a bit of rest around the transition stage of labour, and what could we do, like position changes, or if she should eat something. I did not want to see Chelsea give up because I had so much faith in her ability to overcome anything.

Around 7 am, the doctor lady did come in, and at first I didn't even realise she was the doctor because she was wearing a long striped sweater with a safety pin in it. I know that sounds completely judgemental, but hell, I'm sorry, I could not tell she was the doctor. I thought, "Why is this new nurse on shift not dressed properly?" Anyway, the doctor checked Chelsea herself, and talked to Deborah about how she did think Chelsea could get the baby past that milestone, and if so, she could keep trying for her VBAC. I forgot to mention that Chels did have an iv put in half hour prior to this, and her contractions were really taking off again. Chelsea feeling overwhelmed, I'm sure, told the doctor she needed help to push, and wasn't sure if she was doing it right. I'm so glad she asked because the doctor had a fresh energy, and was really great at coaching. She had a no b.s. disposition that gave Chelsea the right start to the final stages of her labour. But she did warn us that if Chelsea made no progress within 15 minutes, that she'd be going for a C-section.

All I can say is she did it, Chelsea took on the inner goddess, and became the strongest woman I've ever seen. Those 15 minutes past, the doctor came back in, and explained that she would have to try a few different positions. Right from then on, Chelsea was a natural at pushing, you'd have thought she was a veteran, who'd totally had previous vaginal births. She was so strong, inspirational, and utterly amazing. She never raised her voice more than an even sound with her voice that kept her steady through the contraction's work. She never even said any swear words, and definitely not like on the movies where the woman tells her husband off. Chelsea alternated between two positions while she was in her pushing stage. That was good for Spencer and I because we were on either side of her, and using our upper body strength, it switched muscle groups for each contraction, though I'm totally sore all over, it was an even process.

At 9:08, Chelsea and Spencer welcomed their son, Archer Britton into the world with so much love and beauty. It was the biggest honour to be with them in that moment, and I will forever cherish the whole event. I am so proud of her accomplishing her VBAC, and not giving up when the cards weren't looking too favourable. The biggest reward, of course, is her perfect little baby, whom came into this world at a whopping 10 lbs, 3.4 ounces. Little pork chop.

And to you, Chelsea and Spencer, all of my deepest love for inviting me to join you through this magical journey, and congratulations on the becoming a family of four.

Love him already.

Big Girl Bed

The transition has gone amazingly well. I took the side off of Avery's crib, and hooked up the two little rails it came with, to turn it into a toddler bed. I did it after I posted my last blog, the afternoon of. Avery and I did it all together after Avery had a snack. She "helped" me with it. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon until dinner playing in there. I had soup in the crock pot, so we did have a good couple hours to get on and off the bed, pretend to sleep, read books, etc.

Her last time in her crib

The first night (and every night since) I laid four big blankets down along side the bed, so if she fell out, it'd be a soft landing. Avery woke up a ton that night, standing on the corner of her bed, the same spot she'd stand in her crib, and cried. Steve eventually went and slept on the big blanket pile, beside her. He woke up grouchy, as to be expected for a restless night. Luckily, she only needed one of us to sleep in there for one night.

The next day, Avery had a nap. She played in there for a bit at first, and I thought it wouldn't happen, but it really did, and it was so nice to actually scrub out my bath tub for once. I know, that sounds lame, but it was the optimum use for that nap. After nap and snack, I moved all of her bedroom furniture around, and cleaned underneath. I purchased a little foamy baby area mat for the middle of the room, and it's nice and soft for playing and sitting on. Avery has been involved in all of the change, and I've been praising her non stop for sleeping so well in her bed. She seems so proud of herself, and really glowing. During the day, she shuts the door to her room, so she can sit and play in her bed by herself.

Avery reading to herself

Who'd have thought switching her bed would end the sleep problems? I mean, I thought we'd have a little visitor nightly, but perhaps the idea hasn't crossed her mind. I haven't talked aloud about it either, just to ensure the idea isn't being put out there. I did feel a little sad the first night, like letting go of another piece of her babyhood, and almost put the side back on to be a crib again, and would have if she had a sleepless night the second night, but I guess she was really ready. Besides, now I'm not worried about her climbing out anymore, just the baby gates not being closed...

March

It has been amazingly beautiful outside lately. Rained for our usual two month straight stretch of winter, and then the sun has been out so much lately. It's still next to impossible to get any work done in the yard between chasing Avery around and wearing Rowan, but hey, there's always next year for flowers, and little helpers.

I can't remember if I've mentioned we got a couple of ducks now. The pond is dug down at the back of our yard, and Steve put up a snake rail fence around it, so yes the girls can still get into the pond, it will stop them from doing it quickly. I was having major anxiety about two toddlers and an open pond. The ducks are set up underneath the chicken coop Steve built, and we haven't got our spring chicks yet. It will be great to have our own eggs, and meat birds. We actually eat eggs every day, and I cook everything from scratch, so we go through our fair share. I also have girlfriends who will gladly take in any extras. Avery loves walking around out there, and chasing the ducks around. They're from a farm that didn't keep ducks as pets, so they're still pretty unsure of us. I will have to get a picture of them.

Today was the last class of this sessions kindergym, and I'm going to enroll Avery in the next one. Taking her out around the other kids has shown me the importance of socialising the girls, and how great it is to see her slowly coming out of her shyness. She is so gentle and sweet, and she's laughing and playing, if only for me to hear her talk around the other kids. She is not into boys at all. They play so roughly, she actually just kind of freezes up around them, and it bugs me when other parents are ignoring their kids, but I have no problem telling a kid to not hit, or whatever.

I've been taking the girls to a play group up the road on Fridays. It's awesome that it's out here, so I don't have to make the commute to town, and the kids there might be in school with them, so I want the girls to meet other local kids. I didn't really go before because I felt really overwhelmed bringing them anywhere by myself, but now that Rowan is cruising around, crawling and independently playing, it's easier. Avery is quite shy with the other kids, and at the end of the hour, the kids all sit around little tables to have snack time. Now, I bring her own snack because of her gluten sensitivity, but she will not go with them. She just says no or screams at the suggestion of joining the others, so I let her play a bit more, and then I've been taking her home for lunch. Rowan's usually melting down by that time because the timing cuts into her nap time. I can't commit to staying home all the time for everyone's different nap times.

Speaking of naps, Avery has pretty much stopped napping. She started drifting off in the car after kindergym today, so I drove an extra 10 minutes, just to make sure she was totally passed out. I've been putting her down after lunch, and it has worked a couple times to run the dish washer during that time, but then she always seems to poop, which completely wrecks any chance of a nap. I guess because she's relaxed, the poop comes, and she is still recovering from that trauma. Most times though, she just cries, or talks in there, and then calls, " Out, Mama-Mama, out." It is completely driving me nuts! Her nap is the only down time to myself in the day, and I thought that kids were supposed to nap until they were at least 3. Most days she seems pretty fine without the nap, but others... Aaeeeiieee. Not so nice to be around Miss Avery. Let's hope this is a phase, and I will keep trying to put her down.

I'm going to switch Avery's crib to toddler bed this afternoon. I've been prepping her all week, saying we're going to switch you to a big girl bed, and I'm not sure she knows what I mean, but she climbs out of her crib, and seems to be consistent with going to sleep now that she's not napping. When her last molars were coming in, we had to do cry it out nightly, with regular check ins of course. She sure does test her boundaries. If it doesn't work for now, it'll be no big deal to put the crib side back on, and try again later. I just think it might be time. I'll probably put the baby gate that blocks our bedroom off in the day into her door frame. Our house is very well child proofed, and she plays well in it, but Daddy is not as diligent with locking the gates every time he goes through. I have to lock all 3 every morning, so I don't feel relaxed about the possibility of the wood stove being open, or the cat food/ litter is in her reach. Not that she'd touch the wood stove, but the cat poop....

We're still waiting for my girlfriend to go into labour. Her official due date was only yesterday, so it'll be any day now. I've got everything packed and ready. I have been trying to get as much rest as I can, and even went to bed at 8:00 last night. I did finally finish Voyager, the third book in Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. I wish I had as much time to read as I used to. I only get time before bed, and have been falling asleep after half a page the last month, then reread the same thing the next night, only to fall asleep at about the same spot again. Avery's not napping, and me getting no down time leaves me exhausted by the end of the day. Anyhow, Steve seems to be on board and ready to take care of the girls whenever I do have to go.

Last, I'll share a link to Rowan walking with her walker. I can't seem to upload it onto my blog here. Click on the colored text. Enjoy!