The New

What can I say? I've had writing a post on my mind for a while... Basically it comes down to this, I started the blog to record for the girls, and I think of so many growths and treasured experiences I don't want to forget with the busyness of reality.

Avery turned 3, and Rowan turned 2, the beginning of spring. For both girls I hosted a low key dinner and cake party with my parents, and a couple of close friends. For Avery's I actually picked up a Donald Duck ice cream cake from DQ. She was delighted when she saw it.

My life is so busy now. I'm working full time night shifts, and the girls go to daycare in the mornings with this amazing woman I work with. She runs a daycare from home, and I am beyond appreciative to have the new support. With Avery not napping anymore, and both needing such high energy, I couldn't function at work or with them on only a few hours of sleep daily. Their daycare is such a happy, fun place for them to interact with other kids, too.

Avery is potty trained now. It wasn't as hard as I thought. This was a huge milestone for her. We just completely took her out of diapers, dealt with the accidents, made a sticker potty chart, and for the #2, I found these little packs of toy lizards and snakes at the dollar store. Rowan is not far behind, and very interested in copying Avery, but needs a bit more time before she'll be ready.

Rowan's talking is about the cutest thing ever. She's at the stage of repeating words, but they sound like her own language as she pronounces them. She has this breathy way of saying Avery. And as Avery was at 2, the talking is so darn cute! She says flower like, "fow-fow", butterfly, "fy-fy", Avery, "A-vee", truck, "juck", garbage, "baw-gage". Hearing this and remembering Avery in this stage is already not so fresh, and it was only one year ago. I guess it's another of my incentives to write a post.

And so that's about it now. We're at such a good place now. It's been 9 months now, and although we've had different adjustments and such, I'm truly such a better mom. I'm 100% committed to them, and put them first for absolutely everything. Hence my crappy way of staying in touch with people. I guess because my only true down time is the couple nights I have off a week, I just don't feel like talking on the phone usually... But anyway, this too shall pass, as everything goes so quickly these days.

Dear Blog World,
I haven't forgotten you. I've experienced many hardships this last year, between death and divorce, that I haven't always been in the best spirits to write any updates. Being a single mother is a whole new world for me, and although positive overall, very tough tranistioning. I don't have much spare time, and when I do, I certainly don't feel like writing online.
I also have been giving a lot of thought to the blog being neglected, and for the sake of the girls, I have intentions to start something new. I don't really want any openings online to a new sense of privacy we require.
So thank you for understanding, and I leave off wishing a happy new year to all. May love conquer all sadness.

LOVE

Dear Avery and Rowan,
You are the greatest creation I have ever had the chance to call my own. I am thankful for every little smile, cuddle, and joy.
I sometimes feel so frustrated because you are both so demanding at this age, and I sometimes lose focus on the big picture, and don't always handle things perfectly.
No matter what hardships we face, and emotions in all of our transitions and change, I adore the love you bring into my life.
Thank you both.
Love, Momma. xx

Buckling Down

I felt like the meanest Mommy at bed time tonight, almost to date. Avery didn't have a nap today, and so instead of fighting with her about it, meaning her cry for 2 hours straight, instead of simply giving in- which makes afternoons with her even more miserable..... I took her into my bed with a stack of books, and when we tired of that, I laid out a bunch of blankets on the floor, closed the blinds, and put on Monsters Inc. We only cuddled for about 20 minutes, her attention span is short, but I thought she'd be ok.

I made a sausage stir fry with nice roasted potatoes, I thought she would have at least liked the potatoes, but she wouldn't eat one single bite. This is when the mean Mommy moments began. I told her she would not be able to have any milk before bed if she did not eat. I reminded her 3 or 4 times, and mentioned Rowan would have her milk because she was gladly eating. One kid won't barely touch food, and the other pigs down everything in sight. (Except veggies - typical.)

Everything was going alright until bath time. We've had Aunty D over the last few nights, so Avery wouldn't sit down in the bath, and started screaming, "I want Mommy!" basically until my friend suggested she leaves, and maybe Avery just wanted some time alone with me. I was feeling the same thing, and was happy to nurture this request. If only life was so simple to fix for a two year old... She screamed every possible antic from then on out. After not letting me brush her teeth, I figured going to bed early was the best bet. Sorry, Rowan, you too will have your turn to punish your sister with your actions, but please don't run off in the park like she does!

Long story short, Avery screamed for about 40 minutes after putting her down. I couldn't even understand what she was saying. The mix of being tired, hungry, and completely exhausted was one of the worst melt downs I have ever seen. I have no idea how she does it, but Rowan just goes to and stays sleeping through her sister's crying. In fact, she is always the quiet one of the two.

So Moms, is it when they don't want to get up for school that I will catch my break, and get some sleep? When they care that it's Saturday morning, and they want to sleep in?


Hallowe'en-- This is the only picture I could get of them side by side. They wore their costumes to play group, but they move so darn fast, it's next to impossible to get that picture of them in the same frame, let alone smiling.

Big Girl?

Guess who went potty all by herself before bed tonight? This was extremely exciting, and I get why my other mom friends even made their facebook status mention their kids doing so. She has been so irritable not napping, and basically spends the majority of her day screaming at me, so any time I mention the potty I get a very firm no in response. Keep asking, and practicing patience is all I can offer.

Working on the Milk Wean

Day 2, no milkies. Going surprisingly really, really well. We had a little bit of a melt down this morning, but nothing a snuggle can't fix. I have been mixing all of my stocked supply of pumped milk with her formula to make the transition easier. Working and being apart for up to 2 days straight has been hard on my supply, and very uncomfortable for me. And that not being my only reason, I feel that 18 months has been a beautiful time, but the time is over on my side.

Avery may just be about there with the potty. She's been getting undressed, and asking for the potty. Nothing has happened yet, but I am prepared to spend the next few days at home, and really see if she wants to go. It's been a bit tricky when they both want to sit on it, but I am hoping this big change is quick and unmessy! Ha-ha!

Avery has also decided that she does not need to nap anymore. This really sucks. I mean I love a little chance to do fun things together, but I miss my little gap of rest and me time. I have always done the majority of everything by myself, but I miss the back up at night time. I am going to change her crib into a toddler bed again soon, but I will wait this potential potty time out first because I like to introduce big changes slowly and comfortably.

Word.

Autumn

It's been a busy month, still working through transition. I'm starting another new job, and I sure hope this one works out better than the last, and I find a happy medium to float happily through the next couple of years. When they're old enough, I'd like to get the girls into a daycare program, and go to school full time. Right now it's getting used to feeling lonely. And I am letting myself feel sad, especially at night when they're sleeping, and I really feel lonely. It's good for me to embrace the sadness, so the next time I am feeling love, I will be free of this to truly fall.

I'm so happy that I have a friendship with Steve. We took the girls to the pumpkin patch a couple of days ago. It was nice having that extra set of hands for melt downs, and his really fancy camera got some beautiful shots. It was first thing in the morning, so we had the whole field to ourselves. The girls loved the wagon ride, and the goats. I was able to buy a couple of sugar pumpkins, so you know I'll be baking some pies, and freezing left over puree. This is an open invite via blog to any girlfriends who like pie... I miss having a man to eat my treats; the girls get too whacky from sugar, and my muffin top jiggles. Mental image- ha ha.





My new place is great, nice and quiet, super clean. Any girl can make a place home. The girls are doing very well through everything. I had some behavioural problems with Avery more so in the beginning, but she is back to her fun self. I am making a very big effort to keep the phone talking to a minimum, and really focus on activities for the girls and I. These moments are now.



So what's new and fun regarding the girls? Leaving my parents new house after thanksgiving dinner, Rowan went one way down the street, and Avery the other, to their neighbours house. Avery says, "It looks like a cave," and walks right into their home. They're a friendly family, and they thought it was funny. Family memory there. Avery is becoming the little songstress, singing all kinds of little rhymes and songs. Her memory blows me away, and I hope reminds people to censor their bad language around children. I have been very careful to be choosy who they can be around for this reason. Sorry potty mouths, I have a real issue with that.

Rowan is getting her eye teeth, and is in some pain. She is pointing to her eyes and nose, calling them both eyes. Super cute. She says shoe, bye-bye, hi, eyes, Mommy. She is pretty good with her signs, she pats my leg for dog instead of her own. She is definitely the cuddle bug of the two, and is usually touching me all day. I am so used to it.



There have been many moments that I think about a fun subject to write about, it's just been finding the time...