Mom Complex

I've developed a Mom complex. I, like many others, get annoyed of parents with their 345 thousand photo albums on facebook. Or their stupid status updates 400 times per day, which I think totally give stay at home moms a bad rep because I certainly don't have time to be on my computer, and maybe it's because I have two kids and do not have wireless, but still I try to devote my full attention to the girls, and cook everything from scratch. Back to the facebook photo albums, I have tried really hard to keep it to a minimal amount of photos, only posting an album once a month, when I sort all the pictures to be sent to Walmart for the prints. Hastily, I deleted all of my photo albums on facebook of the girls. I may regret it later, but I'd rather go back to emails for people who really want pictures. I spent what I thought would be a short, easy task creating one photo album of my ultimate favourite pictures of the girls, a couple nights ago, and I should mention this is tougher than it sounds; we live in a world of digital photography, and we parents have a heck of a lot of pictures on our computers!

Facebook gave me a hard time about it. I could only use the computer up loader, and upload 5 at a time, and ran at turtle speed. I am kind of stubborn though, and would rather geek out for a couple of hours, and just get the task done because I have been thinking about doing it for quite a while, and I am anal about finishing a job, once I've started it. By the end of it, I basically skipped picking pictures from the last 2-3 months because I couldn't do it anymore. And voila, a 60 shot album, to be added to when appropriate, without bombarding everyone's home page with my in your face mom-ness.

Ok, so now I'll update on the girls sleep situation. They go to bed at 7 pm, they are sleeping in the same room, with no soothers, and they seem to be totally fine with it. Once Rowan was crying, and Steve went in and saw Avery rubbing Rowan's head saying, "It's ok, Wowan." As if that's not the cutest thing ever. And I think Rowan finds great comfort having Avery's crib right there beside hers. She's on more of a schedule now, and I do feel like I am stuck at home more because of their different nap time needs, but I look at it like a chance to spend one on one time with each girl, get things done in chunks through day ie prep/ cook dinner. Also this time will soon pass, and Rowan will be more ready for one long nap, but she just isn't quite there yet. So it's Rowan down, then lunch, then Avery down, and then Rowan again. Basically, we spend between 10:30 am to 4 pm with napping babies.

Avery didn't take the loss of her soother as hard as I'd thought she would. The first two days she didn't nap without it really, and the first night she had a long cry in the night. Steve cut the rubber piece in half, and since she's discovered it, she's been non stop saying, "Suck face bow-ken." I've been praising her greatly for sleeping without it, and reminding her that babies need sucky faces, and because she's a little girl now, she doesn't need a soother. She takes longer to get into her sleeps, but I am so proud of her.

I noticed a couple gaps in her front teeth that looked bigger than in her one year old pictures, and it really freaked me out. I had braces when I was a kid, and won't be surprised if the girls need them too, but I would like to get them started right in life, so I don't want to be adding any further complications to her mouth or adult teeth. Besides, Rowan doesn't take a soother except for when she would fall asleep nursing, and I'd slip it in, or in the car, so I thought with all of the sleep learning going on, it was the best time to just get rid of their soothers completely. With them both being so close in age, it's doing things a little later for one, and little earlier with the other.

Lastly, I felt like a monster hearing Rowan's little cries, but at the same time, it was only one night really, and I feel like I have a major piece of my life back. Steve and I actually have time to ourselves for a few hours every night, we're in charge of bed time, and we are alone in bed. I even get to go out and help with the garden maitenance in the evenings now. The being alone in bed is definitely a major adjustment for me; I haven't slept without a baby since Avery was born, and I'm conditioned to not moving freely, afraid any noise or movement would disrupt, or actually sleeping deeply ever because the baby may sleep crawl off the bed. Yes, being alone with your husband is much more relaxing and cozy. Although, I did crack a joke the first night, saying maybe we should have another baby because it's too weird without one in the bed. (This was only a joke.)

Working on the Night Wean

Low and behold, Rowan slept totally alone last night. It actually went pretty smooth, until 3 am. Here was the initial set up, Rowan's crib was in our room, and so we put Avery down in it at 7, and Rowan down in Avery's at the same time. I switched the mattresses between the two, so Avery would sleeping on her familiar and comfortable one, and I prepped them throughout the day, by telling them both what the sleep plan was.

Yes, Rowan did cry, and yes, I did go in at regular intervals, checking on her, and offering a tuck-in, and it didn't last half an hour. Avery went to sleep just fine, she spent a little time talking to herself before falling asleep, but that is nothing out of the ordinary. Then at 10:30, Rowan woke up crying, and I shot up to go in there, but by the time I'd stood up and started moving, she was back asleep. Not much different than the crying and disruption in my bed. I did mention she was sweet to sleep with recently, but Rowan changed into a bed snake, who cried for no reason, awoke to me moving the slightest bit, and this separation was due. We just need our space, and we won't be interupting each other.


At around 1:30, Avery woke up, and asked for a cup of milk, which I couldn't really refuse because we were in the same room, so sometimes it's easier to cave than fear the tantrum that could potentially wake up Rowan. She drank it, and talked until about 2:30, and finally fell asleep. Until Rowan woke up at 3, with again a quick cry, and right away falling back asleep, or so I thought... Avery got up, and as soon as I went to get out of bed, she started crying, "Mama, Mama," and then Rowan lost her mind, and I went out to Steve, who'd fallen asleep on the couch- GRRR!, and told him I needed his help STAT! So he went to console Avery, who then decided it was party time, and started thrashing and jumping around like a circus clown in her crib. I nursed Rowan, while Avery drank yet another cup of milk, and instead of falling back asleep, Avery thought it was delightful that Mama and Daddy were in the same room, and started screaming like she was front row at a Kiss concert, and Steve snapped at her, telling her to go to sleep, so Rowan started crying again, and Avery thought his yelling meant she should keep yelling.... Pure chaos.


What to do, at 3 am, tired, and you know I did not sleep while they girls were awake, I'm their mother, and have never been able to sleep unless I am sure they are. Well, I went straight to the kitchen, grabbed the play pen, dragged it into the girls room, quickly set it up, and Avery went in it. Steve and I laid in bed, and I imagined another hour of crying and whining, but after Avery yelled, "My crib, my crib!" a few times, it was over until 6:40.

Nap time was a bit hellish today. I had brought Rowan's crib into the girls room, so they were both in their cribs, and Steve's idea is that there isn't much we can do about disrupting Avery's regular sleep anyway; she'll be up all night in our room, and less likely act/ wake up in her own familiar setting. Besides, he is right, they will just have to get used to being in the same room anyway, so we might as well just get it over with in one bang. Now of course this is easier said than done, and pulls my heart strings. Avery was woken earlier than usual from her nap, and after a restless night prior, she was a nightmare this afternoon. Luckily, I put together dinner in the slow cooker, when they were both napping, so I was able to dedicate my full attention this afternoon, and we got to go outside before it rained to see the piggy and duckies.

I guess as a human, I'd be a total freak if I didn't feel really sad about this process. I know some of my friends are against the whole "cry it out", but every family can make their own informed choices, and after a couple of nights, and love dedicated days, the transition will be complete, and everyone will be happier and rested. I am still attached, and very deeply connected to my children.

Middle o' May

Blog slacking... How do two weeks go by without even logging on? Again, many post topics go through my mind, yet finding the time is another thing. So what's new, you ask. Well...

We did another photo shoot with Crystal, and were successful with getting pictures of the girls side by side and smiling. Steve came with me, and we were done with so many great shots to chose from in about 15- 20 minutes. I will be able to upload some of those shots when I have copies.

Steve and I took Avery and Rowan to a birthday party, that was pretty fun. Elmo came, and although Avery didn't want to touch him, she was smiling and laughing. Then she took all of the little plastic chairs she could find, and started lining them up in front of Elmo, who was getting pictures taken with the kids. The rest of the party was challenging, she was constipated, cranky, wouldn't eat, and I had forgotten about how we would handle the cake situation. Being DQ ice cream cake, I gave her a few small tastes of the ice cream, hoping it didn't have gluten in it, but it's so hard to tell with her other than behaviour.

Most times I question whether she's acting out from constipation, or not being able to digest gluten or possibly just dairy. There's no way to know yet. I went back to the pediatrician's, who left me feeling upset and frazzled. I could do a true celiac test if I put her back on the gluten for a month, and then do a blood test, and then after a biopsy. So I tried giving her some regular toast. I don't know if she didn't like the jam, or the toast, but after three bites, she refused any more. I've had to up the laxative dose, and she's acting significantly better since she can't hold it again.

Her funny underbite smile of the day.

Rowan took three steps. I think I mentioned it in my last post. She since hasn't quite taken the walk plunge, but she's standing solo all the time, and doing the toddler squat, which I may add is totally adorable. She had a bit of a reaction to her one year shots. Steve took her into the room, and I sat with Avery, who said, "Rowan change a bum," when she heard her cry. She was really freaking out after, and it was actually pretty hard to calm her down, more than any previous time. Her arm got a pocket, like a swollen bubble, and the fluid was sitting in it. totally freaked me out, and after two nurses examined it, she wasn't having a reaction, and it absorbed by the time we got home, but poor Row did cry the whole way. And about a week or so after, she was red eyed and lethargic for a few days, and seems to be going through a very hard time with separation anxiety. Poor baby.
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Last, Steve butchered all of the chickens, and we now have our deep freeze pretty stocked. He did it very humanely, researched it well, and it was quickly efficient. Our egg layers we get next will not be raised as chicks, but bought locally from one of the million chicken farms around here.

Walky Walk

Rowan took three steps yesterday!!! She's beyond proud of herself, and keeps standing solo. As we know, this marks her about to take off running any day. I am actually happy because I won't have to wear her as much outside, and might be able to slack on the vacuuming every second day to every third- Who wants to be in doing house work with all of this sunshine?
Yipee!

Miss Independant

I was waiting to write about this until I could post a little picture of my new big girl, but our computer situation is a bit messy, well "boy like" would be a nicer way to put it. Steve cancelled the Telus account, and set us up with Shaw, ok fine. We listened to a program on CBC radio about cell phones and radiation, anyway, the wireless is pretty toxic too, so we don't have wireless in the house. Fine, but until he gets some nicer chords, and a set up, I'm standing with chords running from behind the fridge and wall jack with the lap top on the dishwasher. Totally can't do this while the girls are awake...

So Miss Rowan. She is one, and within days of turning one, she has decided that no soft food will do, she wants toddler bites. Nice soft pieces of fruit and such to eat. This is fine, I just went through the same phase, literally one year ago. The only quirk is the kid refused anything but breast milk up until this point, so it seems a little whack-o to watch her eat when she really has no practice. Avery actually switched over from soft food to only wanting to feed herself right around her first birthday, too.

I have been holding on to the baby days with Rowan, but I am sadly realising that she is making the toddler transition, and I do have to work on night weaning. If she is eating, then there's no reason to tell myself she needs it. Sigh. I actually like sleeping with her still. Avery would sleep crawl, kick me in the face, and it was better for her to be in her own space, but Rowan just gently cuddles into my armpit, and snuggles all night. She so affectionate, even with all of her new Independence.

Will there be a third? Ha! Ha! Yeah, maybe when they're both out of diapers, but I'm really not thinking so...

Oh yeah, I tried to do a photo shoot with Crystal Clear Photography yesterday, but of course Shaw was coming in that time frame, meaning Daddy stayed home, and I attempted having them both out in Nan's yard. I really should have asked a friend to come, but I thought Daddy was going to come. Needless to say, it didn't work very well, I couldn't keep up with them both, and so we'll be trying take two next week some time. Anyhow, here's a couple of pictures from yesterday, with more to come.

Spring has Sprung!

It's been pretty happy around here lately, and spring is in the air. And now that we're out of Aries, the god of war, and the battles are settled, cleansing and cleaning begins.

First, my parents were here last week for a house hunting trip, and they found an awesome place! Woohoo! They were really busy with the trip, so I hosted a turkey dinner for everyone on Rowan's birthday. Yes, I said I hosted instead of we, implying who did the work. It was a short visit compared to their weeks stay in town, but very enjoyed, and left me pumped for their permanent return this summer. After virtually no outside help since Avery was born, the concept of Grandparents who want to help, and love the girls seem totally foreign and surreal.

The weather has been wacky lately. Sun one minute, hail the next, rain, insane winds... Ahhh, west coast weather, totally unpredictable. Alas, the early greens and such are totally growing in the garden, and we will be eating fresh produce again soon. My husband may not be with the girls so much, but he sure does work hard to provide for us. And when he isn't working with his company's stuff, he's outside working on major projects such as a green house to grow all year round in, as well as special glass boxes in the garden, called "cold frames" that create a safe place for things to start earlier in season. He also has been doing most of the work with the pig and chickens. I'm very thankful for him, even if he is very, very messy. The longer I'm married, the more I learn that the grass is not greener, and that men really are kind of the same; they'll drive you nuts, one way or the other.

Tonight while putting Avery to bed, I was thinking about how neat it is that most two year olds do all of the same funny, yet annoying traits as one another. Since she's turned two, she has become the master of asking for things, and prolonging bed time as much as she can. How do I tell her that just because she says, "Peez?" that she can't have more cookies? Or my favourite, asks for cookies, then milk, sucky face, Cinderella, all in a row, while I'm still just grabbing the first thing for her. And our whole day is one thing after the other like that. Her bed time is about the same, yes, one thing after the other, and I am very flattered that she wants to get every minute in with me that she can, but really. After about 20 minutes of silence it usually begins, "Shyder (spider), Dora books, (the classic) Owie?" Oh, Avery...

As for Rowan, some days she's taken her nap at the same time as Avery!!! This is huge. Both girls sleeping for 2-3 hours at the exact same time. Well, I dusted off the Nintendo wii fit today, and looked past the reminder it gave me about not going on for 119 days. Gulp. I got a half hour work out in, and it kicked my butt. I have been feeling guilty about things like M&M cookies for lunch, and apple pie for breakfast. I would actually like to lose 10 lbs. But really, something about breast feeding makes me need the treats. I mean it, I never used to eat sweets really, just not my thing. I am a salsa and chips kind of girl, or savoury meals, not chocolaty butter. I feel like chocolate chip cookies are crack to a crack head. I need them every afternoon. I crack with drawl for the stupid things. And you should never look at the fat percentage intake on the side ever because you know you've eaten twice the amount on there, and have just had 145% (give or take) of your daily saturated fat limit. Eek.

Life is good, just really busy. We're all thriving in our routine, I can't believe just how fast the weeks go by. It seems like they go at twice the speed as before. My good friend, K.B. said it best, "I have too many good people in my life to make room for the bad ones." And it applies to my life, too. With the little time outside of being a full time mother, the friendships I value most are with the ones who are beyond special, they're outstanding. I feel honoured and blessed to have those really good ones in my life. And like spring, we're moving forward...