Transitional Realities

I have been going through realisations and growth in myself lately. I need to vent it out, and sort my feelings, so here goes.

We make little videos of the girls with our video camera. I already have learned that it is very hard to talk on the phone like I used to before babies, and it means trying to occupy the girls with other distractions. Now of course you need a little adult conversation in the day, but I was spending too much time on the phone before. Babies go from easy to watch, to little people very quickly, and little people demand undivided attention. So back to the videos, we made the coolest one ever with Avery reading almost every word aloud from her little golden book of words. I can't post it because in the background, I was totally gossiping. Every girl does it, but at what expense?

Avery yesterday at lunch, turns and says, "more", for the first time, and does the sign correctly with her hands. She never really did sign before she talked, and I wasn't really consistent doing baby signs with her. Anyhow, this is the second time she has remembered a sign from well over 6 months ago. If she has recorded it in her mind, what else does the tyke store? Note to people who tend to drop the "F Bomb". (Daddies)

I have taken this so deeply to heart and thought, realising that if I want my girls to grow up as good open minded persons, and I am their example, I need to change. Being young, my non mom friends are still in the party scene. I bartended/ served for 7 years. I do not miss that one bit. I do miss spontaneity, though, and it seems like the only way I can see those people involves going out at night with them. The only good time of day for me to go out with the girls typically is in the morning, so I get sad that my friends never see them. Is that wrong? I mean, yes we live 20- 30 minutes out of town, so for someone who isn't used to the drive, it does seem like a long time, but the girls don't really know the people who mean so much to me.

I guess I'm feeling like I should be making new friends, who have kids. Is this something all moms go through? It's not that I want to disassociate myself from my long time friends, but I am at such a different stage in life, and I feel like I don't have the same things in common anymore. I want to talk to people who are dealing with the same mom things, too. I was envious of my old friends freedom for a while, like going to yoga whenever they want to, or eating at restaurants with the girls randomly. Just having a glass of wine. Yet my mom was really devoted to us, and didn't yak the day away on the phone. I guess just feeling lonely most of the time, and not being close enough to walk to any friend's house, or playgrounds, I do yak more than most.

In the back of my mind, I've just thought we'd move back to town one day, but at the same time I'm starting to see that I have to do something for the present. It does mean I need to make the time to get more time to myself in there. Maybe another yoga class a week, or something. Steve's not as busy as he was, so he can be here a bit more. For those of us with virtually no family support, it's not that easy. We are a team, and really only have each other. I just feel like baby groups are lame and cliquey, but maybe I should go. Even if I never make a friend there, at least the girls will meet the kids they'll likely be in school with.

I am over analytical, through and through. I am hard on myself, thinking I'm not doing as good as I should, or just not good enough. The truth is I do a heck of a lot more than other people, and I guess we're all allowed to feel a build up and explosion of emotion once in a while. I'm glad I saw the ugly in myself on that video, and am going to aim towards change. I wouldn't have known I was just feeling jealousy and resentment because I don't have the same freedoms anymore as the non moms I was gossiping about in the first place. I am happy, I planned my girls, but when your baby is up all night teething, and you haven't slept a night through in 2.5 years, it can be hard to see anything past the present. I know it will get easier, and these days will be gone too fast. And then maybe, just maybe we'll have a boy. ;) Not a chance will that be before these two are out of diapers, and I've had a good nights sleep!

Oh, and I should mention I just listened to the whole "Dark Side of the Moon" album.

Baby Food

I've been asked by quite a few of my mommy friends out there about making baby food, so I thought I should make a post about it. It's actually so simple, and low cost.

Basically I buy whatever organic vegetable I want, steam, puree, and freeze. I do cheat and buy the PC brand pureed fruit from Superstore because there isn't much nice stuff in season for the girls, who both needed pureed foods in the winter season. I also buy plain organic yogurt, and mix a little of the jarred fruit in it. I have to warn you, it's hard to not eat the baby's share. Some people make their own rice cereal, I found it hard on my blender, insanely loud and scary, and I just buy plain organic rice cereal now, too.

Now, I do have an awesome book called, "Super Baby Food" by, Ruth Yaron. I did read it cover to cover when Avery was just about ready to eat solids. (Before she turned 6months) I only use the charts for cooking times in the back section now, for reference. Once you know the steps, it's so simple. There is so much information out there, and in my book, about nutrition, portions, how much milk/ food baby should have a day. I do recommend educating yourself about those things.

Ok, so say I am going to make sweet potatoes for Rowan. I buy nice ones from Edible that are white inside because they are actually better for you than plain orange yams. Sometimes I buy both and mix them together. Either way sweet potatoes are a great first baby food. They're yummy and puree really well; both of my girls love them. Once my sweet potatoes are washed, and cut into even sized pieces, which makes the steaming process cook the pieces evenly, I steam them for 30 minutes. I reserve the water I used to steam them, and once the pieces are cool enough, I put them into a big mixing bowl, and puree them with my hand held blender. Depending on the age of baby, the puree will need to be runny like milk form for a younger baby, or thicker for an older baby. Because the puree can be made with different consistencies, I add a little of the reserved water a bit at a time, until the whole mix is how I want it to be. Next, I spoon the mixture into ice cube trays. I cover the trays with tinfoil, and put them in the freezer until they're frozen, or usually just overnight. Finally, I take the tinfoil off the frozen food cube trays, and put the cubes into a Ziploc freezer bag, and try to get as much air out as possible to avoid freezer burn.

The cubes are good for about two months, and if the cubes I take out before a meal are a little freezer burnt, I just rinse them under cold water, and voila! Like new baby food. I usually get 45-50 cubes out of 1 squash, and am very happy about the money I saved. When you have to add quite a bit of water to a puree, you will see just how much of the baby food in jars are water, and what money you're saving. The reason why I use the reserved water from steaming is because the cooking process does make the food lose nutrients, but I'm adding a little back with the water. You can bake, boil, steam, or microwave the fruit or veggies, but I think the main thing is for them to be cooked first. If you're unsure of the different cooking times, I'd google it to be sure.

Because of allergy risks, or things being harder to digest, there are also recommendations on what foods should be introduced at different times for babies. Like I said before, I think it's good for moms to learn these different things, and make their own informed decisions on what they choose to feed their own babies.

So there we have it, a nice post about the simplicity, and method to make your own baby food. It's nice and easy to pull a little food cube or two out of the freezer, quickly dethaw it, and feed it to your baby. I feel proud for doing it, and how easy it really is.

Talking Take Off

Avery said her first three word sentence before bed tonight. "Mommy, milk please." Which sounded like, "Mama, muck pees." She has been saying a new word daily this month, but the last week or so, she's saying multiple new words each day. It's like she's a parrot copying so many things we say.

Usually Avery associates animals with the noises they make, and yesterday while looking at a book, she said all of the animals by name. I was shocked to hear her say 5 new words in a row. Now, like an average (almost) two year old, she won't repeat a word when you ask her to, unless she feels like it. When she's reading though, she says so many words, and has a lot of her books memorised. She hasn't been letting me read out loud to her, and mostly wants to read to herself. I often find her in her bedroom, where she's closed the door, and sitting on her little stuffed princess chair. She looks up and smiles like I shouldn't be suprised to find her reading to herself. It's amazing to see. There's no doubt that reading is Avery's most favourite thing to do. Before Rowan was really into the toy box, I would barely have to clean anything up but books at the end of the day.

I do think Avery having a regular digestive track helps, but more so in the happy personality side. of things. She is all around a happier toddler, and it makes the small tantrums much easier to handle because before we had all day tantrums. I honestly didn't know if I could deal with two babies so close in age, if Rowan might turn out like that.

I am meaning to do a post about making baby food, tips, and the simplicity of the process. I'll have to get that done this week. Lots of friends have asked me about it. Hope everyone is having a great weekend! :)

Top Chompers.

I didn't have any photos on the computer when I wrote my last post, so now that I actually just organised the monthly shots to be sent into Walmart for printing, I thought I'd share a picture of Rowan with her two top teeth. It really makes her look so much older, and the baby days will be soon behind us. Wow. She sure is the sweetest thing, and she's handling the nonstop teething better than the first two bottom teeth. ( Click picture to see it bigger.)

In other news, I'm going to see "The Lovely Bones" with my good friend tonight. I used to own the novel, but somebody lost it. I would have liked to reread it, especially because I last read it at least 5 or 6 years ago. I do remember I read it in 2 days, and loved every page. I don't usually tear up while reading, but it did pull the heart strings. Uh-oh, my friend I'm going with is pregnant. Ha, at least I'll be watching it with someone empathetic.

We took the girls, last night, to Steve's parents house for his Dad's birthday supper. His aunt picked up Avery her own little tub of rice ice cream, gluten free, and I just brought her own little dinner. We ate Chinese, and black forest cake. I won't lie, I stuffed my face, and felt sick all night. I guess eating gluten free for the last couple weeks, and skipping my yoga class to eat crappy food made me feel like garbage. Hopefully I can sub the missed class via drop in Thursday night.

We also went out with the girls on Saturday evening. Steve has a big group of friends from high school, and they were all getting together because two special girls were bringing their babies into town. It was a perfect reason for a potluck. I made a red lentil hummus, and chocolate cranberry oat squares. The treat was the best part because I was the only one to make or bring a sweet. And I love baking! I actually love watching people enjoy whatever I made.

So that's about it, I think. Until next time...

Pooh

Avery's ultimate new most favourite thing ever is watching "Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree." We actually don't own it on dvd, but I found all the 10 minute bits on youtube. She watches it while I make breakfast, or lunch usually. This buys me enough time to make hot cereals, and not have her under my feet.

I thought I'd try Bambi, seeing as she has books with him, but she cried, and said, "Pooh Pooh." She especially loves the first video with the theme song. I think because her mobile played the song? And she loves the heffalumps and woozles part, which is pretty scary. It's really sweet to watch her light up and smile while watching, and it's not a commercial filled t.v. program, and I watched it when I was little, too. Heck, my mom probably watched it, it came out in 1966.


I have this picture here of Avery watching Pooh. She's enjoying an afternoon popsicle. I pureed strawberries, with a splash of apple juice, and froze it into the popsicle molds. She loves them, and she's eating fruit, which she doesn't really like. I think they will become a regular thing here, with all of this teething going on.

Rowan has her two bottom teeth and two top teeth. I should mention she's been non stop grinding them. Shudder/ gag. It's pretty torturous. She looks like a whole new girl. She's mastered pulling herself to stand, and gets down. It took about a week, and I'd bend her knees for her when she'd cry, to show her how to get down. She's done a slow version of creeping along the furniture, which seems too early at 8 months, but I guess she's met all of her milestones pretty rapidly. I guess I'm just sad knowing her toddler time is about to happen.

Well I hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

Happy Girl

It's now been 4 days gluten free for Avery, and I've got to report the kid has changed like night and day. She still has tantrums, like any other kid her age, but the all day, raging melt downs are over. Yipee! Avery has been pooping, too. I think her belly isn't hurting, and she's feeling so much more herself, and I should mention she never did get sick. :) Thank goodness!

Steve hasn't been bringing the laptop to work this week, so I've been spending my spare time reading everything I can about celiac, and recipe ideas. I really think the toughest thing will be omitting bread, though the easiest solution. And while she's still little enough, it will be pretty manageable. I have been thinking about when Avery's older, it will be hard for her when other kids are eating processed/ junky foods. Maybe certain things won't bug her, when she's in tune with her diet, and she will digest some of those things; who knows. I shouldn't over analyse, just something I tend to do.

Another element hugely part of the change is every meal does have to be planned. This is fine and normal for most families, but because we live out of town, I have previously gone to those golden arches, in a pinch, like when grocery shopping takes too long, and the monster needs lunch. Luckily, there's great healthy options for a quick snack via Atlas, or Zen Zero. I always think it's a good idea at the time, not having to unload the girls from the car, but actually feel an empty fullness that is not satisfying.

I baked a rice flour banana bread today, and it turned out great. I'm feeling more optimistic today than yesterday. I'm just thinking we may eliminate bread type food as a staple all together. I think of all the other people in the world, who don't rely on bread so much. I'm also feeling pretty energetic, and I hope the diet has positive effects on Steve, too.

Maybe changing into a gluten free family is a blessing in disguise.

Gluten Free

Life has been nothing short of chaotic around here the last week. On Friday I came down with a very nasty cold. A little boy ran over to Avery and I on Wednesday, at the kindergym class, and coughed all over me. Great. Just when I told Steve not to worry, we would be fine. (Him being the germaphob.) And of course, it had to be the first class. We obviously didn't attend yesterdays class, seeing as I wouldn't want to get someone else sick.

So just as I have been feeling a bit better, the cold moved from my head to my chest, Rowan is sick. Nothing is sadder than a poor oozy little baby. She has been given plenty of Tylenol, it's the only thing helping, and with her top teeth all coming in, she has been refusing to nurse. A lot of crying, pain for her, and one cranky snot face. Avery on the other hand, seems to be without the cold until last night, she woke up crying a couple times. She didn't try to jail break, no throwing her cribs contents on the floor, just laid there sniffing a stuffy nose. She was sneezing a bit yesterday, which is how it started for everyone else. Yes, Steve is sick, too.

Besides this lovely quarantined family setting, Avery had her pediatrician appointment on Tuesday morning. I wrote last summer about her ongoing constipation problems. (Click the text to read about it.) I left Rowan with Steve for the appointment, and took Avery by myself. The waiting room had a pretty cool little play house, and a bunch of books. The office we were in had a whole toy box of toys, and we'd brought a couple books in. Avery couldn't handle it. I don't know if she was hungry, she was refusing the snacks I'd brought along, in my diaper bag. I don't know if it was simply wanting to be playing in the play house, or if the doctor, as sweet as she was, being someone new, but Avery was freaking out. It built up into a gigantic tantrum.

The doctor was noticing that Avery didn't really ever acknowledge her, or make eye contact, and that is a bit unusual. She kind of played in her own little world the whole time, and didn't really say any words, which concerned the pediatrician. Well, I have heard Avery say a new word every day, for quite a while now. I guess at least over a month now, she's also said 3 or 4 two word sentences, so I am not concerned with her speech development; although, if you ask Avery to say words, she screams at you. She is very difficult to handle, with her raging tantrums, and irritable attitude. Now, this could be from constipation, upset stomach, gas, who knows. But the doctor is putting a referral in with the child development people to check her out. I don't want to over react about that. It might give some really positive answers on handling her tantrums, and piece of mind with her inner health.

The doctor is almost convinced Avery may have celiac disease. The only way to tell for sure is to do blood work. Not only traumatic, but would mean we'd have to pin her down, I did not want to even think about it. I can't say I blame Avery for not wanting the doctors to touch her, every time she goes they're trying to poke her bum, or feel her tummy, which must be sore with gas and constipation. I'm now taking gluten out of her diet completely to see how she changes. It'll really be easier to just switch the whole family. Rowan ate some rice cereal that had wheat and milk by products in it, and it totally bunged her up, too! At least a gluten free approach is going to help her, too, and I now know early enough on.

Another funny thing about the switch is Avery doesn't like the foods that are really bad like pasta and processed kid stuff. It's her own little body communicating with herself, and I do wish through this process I'd been more experienced to know symptoms/ signs, or that she had the words to tell me. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself, I have been to the doctor many times, and we are doing something about it now.

We have a follow up appointment with the pediatrician next month, and I really want Steve to come to it. It'll be good for him to hear answers from the lady herself. I forgot to mention that when we were leaving the appointment, I had to carry Avery out because she was tantruming. When we were in the elevator, Avery tried to run out, the door closed on her hand, and I couldn't get her fingers out until we stopped at the next floor up. It was pure chaos from then on, screaming the whole car ride. I could tell her hand was fine, but holy man. I cried in the car, too, and I know other people are sympathetic when your toddler is melting down, but I just feel really flustered. I'm glad Rowan wasn't there because I don't know if I could handle that.

So here we are, I have been trying to get some reading in, when I can, about cooking gluten free. I am exhausted with Rowan's constant crying because of her cold. I ordered a couple of cook books offline because the wait list on some of the good ones from the library is pretty big, besides it will be nice to just have them here anyway. I have no idea what to make for dinner tonight. Cooking normally is challenging, but with the sick baby, I might call Steve for help. I wish Avery liked potatoes... hmmm. Just thinking to myself there.

Well, I guess that is all for now. Until next time. Ciao.