Sleep Conclusion

So I tried crying it out with Rowan. Since her crib is already set up in our bedroom, and our house only has two bedrooms, I switched the mattresses between the two, and Avery slept on her own mattress, in our room. The first night went well, she actually fell asleep rather quickly, and I did my check ins on the clock. I was really tired the next day, Saturday, and thought that night would go even better. Um, ya, no. Rowan cut her first tooth that day, which I didn't notice until the next morning. She had a hard time going down, and woke up a lot in the night. At about 2 am, and next to nothing sleep, I grabbed her right up, and brought her to bed.

Now I won't lie, I felt like a fat piece of crap mom for doing that. I feel pressure to have her out of the bed, and then a part of me wants my space, too. My conclusion is it isn't the right time for us, and we're not ready to sleep separate. I think, like Avery, when she sleeps through the night without milk, then we can try again. Steve also thinks that she is too little, and he was very supportive of letting me decide how to handle it.

Yesterday I went to Nanaimo with a couple of my girlfriends. With NO babies! It was my first day away from them both, and I loved the break. I went with intention of Christmas shopping, but also used my birthday money, and bought myself a new winter jacket, which I haven't had a new one in about 5 years. I also bought a lulu lemon knock off hoodie. Yep, pretty darn happy about that. I picked up an adorable Disney Princess table and chair set for the girls, from Toys' R' Us. I am so happy with it, I have wanted to get one for quite some time. And to save space, in our small house, I put the annoying musical excercauser out on the highway, with a free sign, and it was picked up within 10 minutes.

I've been trying to really cut out some of the clutter in our home. I feel like the piles of toys, and hunks of plastic everywhere are driving me nuts! Like I clean all day, and it still feels messy. I think it's because there's too many toys. I like that Avery is outgrowing a lot of them, and I'm letting them go. I have a bag filled for the toy drive, I just need to bring it into town.

That's about it. Rowan's sleeping in our bed, and I think I feel the most rest when she's there, and Avery is quite excited about her little table. It even has a storage part in the middle.

Avery is so happy! She turns the chairs backwards, just like when she stands up at the counter.

Temper Temper

Well there is actually quite a bit to update, so let's see how much energy I have for this post. Ha, it's only 8:30 pm, and I get tired so much earlier than I ever used to!

I have been cuddling Rowan to sleep, and putting her down in her crib. Every morning though, I wake up with her in my bed. I don't remember bringing her in there. How do moms stay awake to nurse and put their babies back into their own beds? It's actually kind of funny. Last night, I stood beside her crib, and just held her hand and lightly touched her face, while she drifted off. I waited until I knew she was tired enough, and I think she likes lying sprawled out to get into her deeper night sleep. I also think she wouldn't nurse as much, in the night, if we weren't beside each other. According to the public health nurse, she only needs milk once or twice a night, and it's comfort, not necessity. I just don't wake up really, and give her the goods; it's hard not to when her face is so close to the milk supply.

Avery went to bed tonight with no fight. Yay! She bawled the last couple of nights. I'm not sure if it was some tantrum thing, or that she was holding her pooh in. I gave her a suppository yesterday, and she didn't go. How that is even possible, I'm really not sure. I woke her up from her nap at 3 because I've been letting her sleep until 3:30, and I think it could have been contributing to the sleep protests at night. She was tired from not getting enough sleep at night time, and creating a nasty little habit.

Ok, so there's the sleep update situation. I'm still not sure about crying it out for Rowan. I mean, she's teething, and I don't want to misinterpret her cries. I also like the idea of getting her used to sleeping in the crib before falling asleep solo.

Now, Avery has been having these raging tantrums lately. They aren't kidding when they say Aries have explosive tempers! Holy doodles! That kid freaks out. I guess she gets frustrated not being able to communicate with words what the matter is, but I mean really. The other morning it was that I was going to change her diaper when she woke up. Nothing out of the ordinary, we've done it daily since she was born. She lost it; cried on the floor for 10 minutes straight. I walked out, made breakfast, and went back in, and she stopped luckily. This morning, I made oatmeal for her, and cereal for myself. The usual. Well, I think it might have been because I didn't give her the juice first??? Total diva, slaps my face, throws the oatmeal on the floor, and starts wailing. Throws herself on the floor, where she cried for over an hour. Not kidding. The only thing that would soothe her was me holding her, and because there's two babies, that is not always possible.

I realise this photo makes me look like a very mean mom, but try to find the humour in it, I really don't think she knew why she was crying at this point.

I've got to say the tantrums are a little draining. After I woke her up from her nap, we had total chaos. Avery threw herself down, and bawled her little heart out. I picked her up, and her whole shirt and hair was drenched in snot and tears. Rowan had her 6 month immunization this morning, so I needed to cuddle her a bit, too. Well, sheesh. I even made hard boiled eggs and sliced avocado for Avery's snack, which she refused with face slaps. You know she's hungry, and the tantrum gets worse with the low blood sugar. She was only happy if I would carry her around, and hold her. Could this be a jealousy of Rowan, or just that she's so overwhelmed with emotion, and doesn't know how to deal with it? Steve says we'll never really understand the logic of a two year old. FYI Daddy: She's not two yet, and yes she's in her second year of life, technically.

Anyhow, I solved the tantrum today by letting her fill her own little cup full of teddy graham crackers. She was happy to carry it around. Once she settled a bit, I brought the real snack in, and we ate it together, on the floor. Rowan sure is a little trooper, and I hope she isn't so dramatic. I knew Avery would be this little diva from the get go, but it's a bit much to handle some days. I mean, I'm only human, and having two babies screaming and needing you at the same time, can suck the life out of you. But I keep my composure, and breathe, and tell myself it won't last long, and we're doing whatever it is we have to to get through that moment, even if the next moment is another melt down. I love them both, and it's good to get all of this hard stuff done in one stretch of time.

Taking the teddy grahams in and out of the cup is a very fun activity.

Sleep Regression

All I can say is what is going on? There will be no sleep separating with Rowan until Avery's sleeping is back to normal. I don't know why, but she has been waking up between 4:30 and 5:30 am, the last week or so. She wants to be up for the day. We used to be able to warm her a bottle of milk, and she'd go back down until 7, but not lately. She's been cutting her naps short, which makes her over tired and cranky, in the afternoons. And now tonight, she would not go to bed.

We've reached our limits. We go in repeatedly, and she throws all of her blankets and soother on the floor, even though that makes her really mad, too. It seems like going in the room makes it worse. I don't want her in our bed. She wakes everyone up, and doesn't sleep; it's like total play time to her. I don't want it to become habit either because honestly, I haven't slept a night through in 2.5 years, and I'm looking forward to a night alone with my husband.

I don't mean to sound selfish. I'm into attachment parenting, wearing babies, cuddling, breast feeding in bed, but I have learned that not every element works for our family, and what works for us might not be the same as what works for other families. I don't want harsh judgements either for it, but the truth is we've let Avery cry it out now.

Avery cried for a solid hour this morning, and we just didn't go back into her room. It just makes it worse, and I think our biggest mistake was inconsistency. I am hoping she won't cry again tomorrow morning. As hard as it is to listen to, it was our decision, and like I said, it works for our family. I'm totally dreading doing it with Rowan. I know the longer we wait, the worse it'll be. Luckily, I've been able to lie her down when she's really tired in the day, and she'll go to sleep alone, in her crib.

Ahhhh!!! Maybe it's exhaustion, but having babies has made me face tougher decisions than I ever thought I'd have to make.

Rowan's New Bed

Here's Avery helping Daddy set up Rowan's new crib. Row's been sleeping her naps in it, and when she's tired enough, I've lucked out, and she's fallen asleep on her own in it. Too bad it's a total nightmare getting that baby down for the night!

Rowan's new annoying habit is to fall asleep for a nap around 6:30 pm, and wake up one hour later, flustered and cranky. She used to look up at me, know I was there, and go back to sleep, in my arms, and I would continue to spend the next couple hours with Steve, until we'd go to bed. Now Rowan wakes up, and will only go back to sleep if I lie in bed beside her. I am into co-sleeping, and I love the private parenting time to nurse between us, as it is really our only alone and intimate time together, but I also can't commit to being in bed at 7 or 8 daily, and I don't want this to become routine for her.

I have tried the transferring to her crib, once asleep, and it ends in chaos when she wakes up. I'm not exaggerating, she is by far the fussiest baby to live. Taurus Momma suck, who only wants me. It's a little draining. Everyone has their own way of sleep separating, and it's what works best for their family. I might try putting her down, at night, when I know she's really tired, and see how she does. It can't hurt to try.

On the bright side, it's nice to have her crib set up. It's a safe place for her to nap, as she's just getting way too heavy to wear, and cook, in the afternoons. I think because it's in our room, she is pretty content when she wakes up.

Daddy and Rowan enjoying an after dinner nap.

Lesson

So, I've been at home a lot the last couple of weeks. We've had crazy amounts of rain and storms, the town even flooded. Record amounts of rain. It's been kind of nice, even though I do have a bit of cabin fever. Like I need a break to myself. I haven't been to yoga in a couple weeks, and I'm still fighting off this weird infection, and I think I'd be too uncomfortable in class to go.

Being home so much, I notice that I have more time for one on one with the girls. And it's been a sad sort of realisation, but in the midst of day to day clean-up, cooking, chores, and Rowan, I hadn't been paying as much attention to Avery as she needs. I guess as babies grow older, we let them play independently, while we try to get 50 million things done. Those things are never done or caught up, and I'm really trying to let go of expecting them to be, even though that's challenging.

I'm lucky that Avery is such a little independent Aries, but during the times I'm usually trying to get something precooked, cleaned up, etc, I've been sitting on the floor with her and Rowan. She's been so much happier. We all are. I also did the whole dinner, clean-up, bathed both girls, dressed them, and put Avery to bed with her book, bottle, teeth brushing routine. Steve and I usually do that as a team because one or both girls is typically having a pre- bedtime melt down. I really enjoyed it. There was such a love feeling with Avery and I that night, I even had time to sing to her, and read an extra book, and Rowan just sat happily in her bumbo, like she knew I needed that snuggle with Avery.

It's funny how life is just whizzing by, especially with these two little girls. I'm happy to somehow find a minute to myself, and reflect on the life lessons right in front of me. Maybe my children will be my greatest teachers.

Spectacles!

Blurry vision, no more. Here's my new specs. I'm pretty darn excited! I love seeing everything look so crisp and clear. And my husband digs the new look. Oh boy!

Boat Rocking

I have been totally slacking on the blog, and I have a bunch of ideas for posts, so my apologies. I've been busy of course, but fighting an infection, too, and I'm all around lethargic, and just plain lazy. I've been napping along side the girls, daily.

I just want to quickly record that Rowan's been getting up on her hands and knees, and doing the rocking baby, before crawling thing. I haven't really been propping her up for sitting, she still just falls over, but she can slug crawl and roll like crazy. She also loves doing the rocking thing when she's on our chests.

The boat's rocking!