The blog post. How I have been putting off a truthful update on my reality. And so I will sum up the truth sweet and simply.
The girls and I are moving into our own place. I am separating from my husband. I am making this choice because we fight way too much. It's not good for anyone, especially the girls. I know that leaving now will rid my heavy heart of all the negativity, and make me a better mother. Happy to love and be free with the girls. I also know that it would be easy to stay for just another couple of years, and it would make the change easier for myself with them being a bit older, but it isn't being true to myself, and I need to nurture my own heart.
Steve is an absolute stand up guy. He truly deserves love as much as anyone else. We are just not compatible. I really believe it's the little things in life, and with our different interests, we just don't mesh the same way. I realise that if I don't get out now, I will not be able to maintain a friendship with him, and I truly need to provide that for my children's sake. Like I said, I could easily stay a couple of years, they go so quickly, but I know I would leave and never be able to his friend.
I am actually happy about this. Of course I have some emotions to heal, but I feel like my heart is open and free again. I am eagerly anticipating a clean home, and my independence again. I require certain freedoms I have felt very desolute from, and withdrawn socially living out in the middle of nowhere. Don't get me wrong here, being a mother is my number one priority, and I am not looking to add partying in the mix by being social. I just want to be closer to my fellow mama sisters, and my parents. Being a hermit on a hobby farm may suit some folk, but I would rather be piss poor in a cardboard box, if it meant true happiness.
I have received so much love and support via facebook and email. I haven't been very good at responding yet. I am very thankful and find strength in that support. I've just been very careful to censor anything on the Internet right now because I am waiting for the storm to pass. Just making the relationship status change was big enough, let alone airing any dirty laundry in other ways.
And so here it is, the truth behind the split from myself. I am doing the best thing for my children. Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.
The Vital Babymoon
2 years ago
2 comments:
You are amazingly strong and brave! Staying true to yourself, especially when you are a mother, is one of the hardest things to do! I'm glad you aren't willing to compromise yourself for the sake of "appearance". And from a child of divorce myself, it really was easier to have my parents seperated then to listen to them fight all the time. If it's the right decision for you and the girls, then it's the right decision, don't let anyone tell you different!
Love ya!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Best wishes to you and your daughters in this challenging time ahead. I am glad you feel positive and exciting about this move ... I myself am divorced (though it was before I became a mom, so less complicated) and it was a very freeing move. Also terrifying at times, so it's good that you have support to lean on and are moving closer to those who love you.
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